I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
His nipple licking is glorious
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