i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
