so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
