Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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