So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
