you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
