You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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