Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
