We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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