This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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