Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
