Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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