dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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