just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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