somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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