You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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