I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
