So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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