HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize