people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
