the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I could have mohawked her pubes.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Randomize
