These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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