just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
