the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
