do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
