You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
