you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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