um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
