I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
