why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
