Fuck appropriateness.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
