My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
