And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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