Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
