I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
