so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
