So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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