I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
