it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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