He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
