We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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