A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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