told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
