I wish I could teleport
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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