This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
