you have to choose: penises or morals?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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