is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
