Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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