This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
