You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
