you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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