How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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